Yes i'm finally back to this blog after so many years... Everytime i said i 1 2 post an incident on the blog and in the end i didn't. I was never strict on myself for alot of things. Partially it ended in the state i'm in now... No 1 to be blame except myself... I jus can't get myself to focus... Haiz...
Some much has happened over these years. I guess by writing on the blog may make me feel better and perhaps make me understand myself even more. I certainly hope so. This blog of mine is quite private actually... Not many ppl know about it... I never like to disclose this blog of mine to others unless they are trustworthy enough. The topics i sae here can be quite sensitive. You can sae this blog is my chu qi tong or punching bag. I have already more or less get rid of the old habit of mine: punching the wall to vent my anger. I seldom pull any punches liao... Those were the days when they were needed anytime when the need arises. I think i am still keeping the bandage that accompanied with me during those days. it has served me well... Maybe you can sae that i've grown up and be more mature...
Mum and Dad: It's not that i like to splurge my money away. I have my reasons for doing that. I can understand how u all feel. I know you all are worried about me. I'm already grown up yet I have accomplished nothing that you all can be proud of. I still give u all problems here and there. I know what i'm doing although in a way i may not be right. But i will never regret it cos it will be terrible to do so. It was a difficult time for me. I know I always delay on my payments. I know that I will be on time for that. I will do it on time. Dun worry, even if i have to suffer I will clear all my loans and everything on time even it takes me to suffer. I will sacrifice money that i set aside for myself. I know the importance of saving. I really do but I need some time to do it. Recently, those SMS that you have sent me have made me grow, made me realise some things that i never did. I think i shed some tears sometimes while reading it especially when you all sae " We all love you" my heart always melts. Take care man. I'm worried bout u all actually jus that i dun show it. Esp Dad, everytime when i hear u fell ill, I get veri gan chiong about you.
2 months more and I have to visit the Heart centre for check up. Recently, I onli had 1 small attack other than that i guess there wasn't much of a problem. Maybe my change in diet and gym sessions helped. I'm monitoring my diet veri closely now and fir the first time i actually went on a diet to lose some weight. partially due to sailing. i'm keeping my weight below 70kg now. I don't visit the fast food outlets often now. I even turn my head away when i see laksa, my favourite food instead i went for kway teow soup. I'm determined this time to keep myself fit and healthy. I still remember that my target to achieve my 6 pac in 4 months. I was never so determined before. This time i know I am. Thanks to you. You played a very big part in this. You made me survive through this difficult period. I realli 1 2 thank you. Back to the topic, actually I know i'm actually very scared everytime i think of my heart problems it's just that i don't show it. The thought of it is veri scary. I'm veri worried actually. I hope there's nothing wrong with my body. I'm sorry that i've abused it sometimes. I even cut down my alcohol intake and i don't even smoke. Haiz...
I guess i should sum up this post. I hope i wun have to wait for a few more years to update this blog. No, I shouldn't hope. I SHOULD REPHRASE IT: i will make sure i update the blog soon. Till den. Take care.
PS: I hope I'm right this time. I really do.
DARYLscreamed
2:03 AM
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
inspiration
well, first post of the year.
I've served the country for two years already. Got my freedom back. It's back to reality again. I noe it's time 2 get serious and to stop wasting time. Applying for NIE to be a teacher. I've thought bout it. Can I realli make the cut for a teacher ? Am I the one for it ? I've been optimistic bout it. I realli 1 2 be a teacher. No doubt about it. I guess I got to take a step at a time!!!
Read the life section of the straits times today. One section was featuring about the people who took part in the clipper race. It's one of my dreams to be able to participate in that race even though it can cause up to a hundred thousand to sail all the 7 legs of it, I'm determined to work towards it. Can I make it happen ? Guess I have to realli work hard for it to happen.
DARYLscreamed
6:30 AM
Monday, December 21, 2009
Is this the right time ??? PART 1
Well... It was a long week indeed. Had fever on thursday morning. I realised it when I was bathin. I can feel that arms are getting weak, I knew something was wrong.
Thermometer Reading: 38.0
I was preparing to Somerset 313 with JX. She mus be disappointed when we couldn't go. At first I wanted to take a risk and jus go but decided not to do so. I ate some food, took panadol adn sponged myself with a towel. Took a nap and took temperature again.
Thermometer Reading: 37.5
I was delighted. Carried on sponging and water intake. Porridge for dinner, took medicine and surfed the internet. Took a shower. Half an hour, Took temperature again.
Thermometer Reading: 38.5
Sianz. This was the highest reading for the day. Took a stronger medicine again. The hopes of goin 2 PA for AHA rehearsal are diminishing. Woke up the nxt morning, JX came and bought my favourite pork porridge before i had a glass of milk. Took medicine and took temperature.
Thermometer Reading: 36.8
YES!!!!! Finally no fever liao... BUT suddenly, my stomach started to ache and toilet runs became more frequent. I visited the doctor and took the medicine but it's like not working lehz. I promised JX that I wun go PA on friday and I knew I'm in no state to go PA. I would add to ppl's misery instead of helpin... DAMN!!! At the same time I was scrambling to find ppl help me deliver the boat that I was racing last weekend. There was no way i could sail at all given the state I'm in. Sianz. Luckily I managed to assemble ppl to sail back. It's goin to be a long trip I know. Thanks Teck Wee and crew. Couldn't do it without u all. Went Grandma hm for dinner and went hm after that. Drove to edwin's hm to grab the skipper's bag at boon lay before heading to Teck Wee' s hm at bukit timah. Had an half an hr discussion be4 heading hm. Stomach was still hurting. Quickly went to bed after reachin hm. Stomach was extremely painful. Took a pillow and put it under my stomach be4 i could slp.
DARYLscreamed
7:13 AM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
aftermath
Well... had my MRI scan for my ankle yesterdae... I hope everythin's okie... well... my left knee is hurting again... it first started when i was walkin in taiwan. the pain was so bad that i could barely walk up the stairs at times. Luckily, the pain wasn't as bad and the next day the pain went off. On Sunday during sailing, the pain came back it's now at the back of my knee. This time it's problematic, I got problem doing even normal routines and my right thigh feels numb at times. How am i going 2 train back my fitness like this ? i wan my fitness back, i feel zi bei whenever I look at myself. I can't blame other but myself so I mus train back.
I hope the pain will go away soon. I decided not to exert it this week n rest it as much as possible. I hope it helps. J24 regatta is round the corner and if I'm participating I need to recover... I will mention this problem to my physio next week bout my prob n see wat she thinks of it. Sianz, injury by injury. What is happening ?
Hope everythin is okie. I will recover. I'll be back!!!
DARYLscreamed
7:04 AM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Hi People,
DARYLscreamed
8:51 AM
Hi People,
DARYLscreamed
8:51 AM
Hi People,
yes i know it's been 3 yrs since i posted my last entry. Enlisted to national service and all the committments tat i hv and all the blah blah blah made veri busy tat I had no time 2 even post a entry. yes, it's a lame excuse but oh wells, here I am posting already.
These 3 yrs was happening man. From dance to sailing and me enlisting for NS. Its realli crazy thinkin back den. Well now, I'm looking forward to december though and of cos 2010. Hope that my application to NIE will be accepted and start my dream as a teacher. I know currently I dun look like 1 but i'm working hard.
Well todae's post shall be a short one cos i can't realli think of wat 2 write or rather i hv too much to write tat I can't possibly finish writing till 2morrow night. Hope more enteries will come soon and of cos pls make the tagboard as happenin as possible. Cya!!!!!!
DARYLscreamed
8:17 AM
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Back Again!!!
Well... I'm back again 2 blog. haha... Sorry 2 those whu came visitin my blog but seeing the same post poppin out everytime. Been rather busy these few weeks. Wanted to get the club going and stuff. Very tired man actually. Not a easy job. Too busy tat i couldn't spare much time doin other stuff. Lost touch with nhds liao... haiz... I noe that they are preparin 4 the open house and also the upcomin syf.. doe noe whether i still got time 2 spare 2 help them out..
Now oso helpin 107 4 their soccer games. Well... i took this job basically 2 train myself maybe 4 the future and of cos helpin the kids to improve their game. I luv the enthusiasm and passion they hv 4 the game but it's also not a easy job. I dealin with a bunch of defiant and stubborn kids. Havin quite a tough time controllin them at times. tend to be not cooperative at times which lead 2 a slump in morale and team spirit in the team.
The gals in the class r veri supportive of their guys but I doe noe y I had this problem where they keep whinin and complainin infront of mi and behind mi.. I had problems concentratin and oso makin decisions. yes they r veri enthu n worried but dun cum 2 mi makin alot of noise n scoldin mi. I not sayin u all r bad lahz but u all should control yur emotions at times. As much as I doe wan 2 spoil yur mood 4 the game I hope u all cooperate with mi if not I may hv 2 make some decisions tat I hv 2. Guys of u all mus trust my judgements and put yur effort and play the game. You all wan the best out of the team n u all dun cooperate with mi. If u all hv any problems with ur positions tell mi personally. No point complainin 2 yur classmates cos they hv not much sae in the game but I do, so tell mi instead. Dun be afraid 2 approach mi. It's okie. I hope we all will perform better this time round. Let's jus hope at least.
SPSYC is going through a tough and difficult period now.. I hope we can pull through this time round n succeed. I hope u all can understand my position n my decisions. Attendance 4 trainin wasn't optimistic at all these few weeks. I hope it improves. I noe sumtimes u all r tired and sianz. The pressure and stress from studies has caused yur attendance 2 slump. But try 2 make the effort to make it for trainin whether it's land trainin or water trainin. If u all 1 2 do well for sailin den u all should spent more effort to come 4 trainin. If not how do u all improve ? I doe wan force u all 2 cum cos I understand how u all feel at times and I think u all r old enough 2 think 4 yurselves. I shall not sae much. The rest is all up 2 u all liao... I will still do my best 4 the club though but I hv my limitations too. Tat's all 4 todae.. Hope I can still post more often. haha.. Cya!!!
DARYLscreamed
7:57 AM
